Why Foster Parents Stay

Next week marks 10 years since my husband and I became licensed foster parents. When we first started thinking about becoming licensed, we agreed to just take it one step at a time: Make a call. Have a conversation. Take a class. Take another class. And another. Fill out the application. Complete the home study. Say “yes” to a child.

Looking back, I don’t know that we ever thought we would foster this long. We thought if we helped even one child, it would be worth our time. Over the last decade, we’ve welcomed children into our home in the middle of the night, celebrated birthdays and milestones, packed belongings when it was time to say goodbye, and experienced a full range of emotions throughout all of it.

People sometimes ask why we keep fostering. Definitely not because it’s been easy! There have been plenty of challenging days. Times when we questioned what we were doing, grieved difficult goodbyes, or felt frustrated and overwhelmed by the unknown that comes with fostering. Foster care is absolutely meaningful, rewarding, and life-changing – but it also requires some level of patience, flexibility, and resilience.

When we first started learning about foster care, we came across a discouraging statistic, one that still holds true today:

Nationally, about half of all foster parents close their homes within the first year of becoming licensed – or after caring for just one child. Even beyond that first year, foster homes continue to close at a rate of roughly 50% each year.

That is sobering. The reality is that foster care asks a lot of families. Caring for children who have experienced trauma means navigating appointments, court hearings, family visits, behaviors, and the emotions that come with all the transitions. No amount of training can prepare you for all of that.

So why do any foster parents ever continue? Looking back over the last 10 years, I can honestly say we haven’t continued fostering because we have all the answers or have somehow mastered it. We’ve continued because we’ve never had to do it alone.

As both a foster parent and the foster parent recruiter for MCJFS, I’ve seen firsthand how much a strong support system matters when it comes to fostering. I’ve had case workers answer endless questions, celebrate successes with our family, sit with us through difficult times, help us work through challenges, and connect us with resources when we needed them. Knowing there’s someone to call – someone who genuinely cares about both the children and the families caring for them – makes all the difference.

At MCJFS, we believe foster families should never have to do this alone. We can’t eliminate every challenge that comes with foster care (we wish we could!), but we can make sure that our families have people walking alongside them every step of the way.

Today, 25 of our 45 foster homes have been with us for three years or longer. We think that tells an important story and we’re proud of that – not because it means the journey has been easy for our families, but because it reflects the relationships we’ve built and the support we’ve worked hard to provide.

Our foster families have access to:

• Dedicated, responsive staff who know them and their families
• Ongoing training and educational opportunities
• A tight community of experienced foster parents
• Family events and opportunities to connect with other foster families
• Resources and practical support when needs arise
• A team that genuinely cares about both the children and the families caring for them

We know that when foster parents feel supported, they are more likely to continue opening their homes to children who need them.

If you’ve been considering foster care, but worry about whether you could do it, know this:
You won’t be expected to do it alone.
Every single one of our families has faced challenges. The difference is having a team that’s committed to helping you through them.

Children need safe, caring adults who are willing to say “yes.”
And those adults deserve a community that says, “We’re here for you.”

If you’ve ever thought about becoming a foster parent, we’d love to show you what support looks like at MCJFS. Together, we can ensure that more children have the safe, caring homes they deserve – and that the families who welcome them have the support they need to keep saying yes.