Something No One Talks About

There’s something you rarely hear about when people talk about foster care.

We don’t often hear the stories of the children themselves.
Not because their lives aren’t powerful, moving, or worth sharing. But because, in most cases, we’re not allowed to share them. And that silence, though rooted in protection, comes with its own cost.

Children in foster care are legally and ethically protected. Their names, histories, and experiences are private – for good reason!

These children’s stories are not ours to share. They deserve to live normal lives and not have the details of their lives publicized or be labeled by something they cannot control. They deserve to choose if, when, and how they want to share their stories.

Here’s the tension, though: In trying to protect children in foster care, we also risk making them invisible.

When people can’t see a child’s face or hear their story, it’s easy to forget they exist. It’s easy to assume they’re “doing fine” or that “someone else is helping.” It’s easy to not ask questions. To not get involved.

And when we can’t see them, it becomes easier not to care.

Think about what moves people to act.
Not statistics.
Stories.

It’s when someone hears,
I entered care at age 7.
I was separated from my brother.
I changed schools six times.
No one came to my graduation.
That’s when hearts shift. That’s when action follows.

Even if we can’t share personal details, we can still tell the truth about children in foster care:

• They are incredibly resilient, often more empathetic and insightful than we give them credit for.
• They are navigating family loss, transitions, school disruptions, and identity – all at once.
• They long for connection, safety, and belonging – just like any child.
• They are more than the worst thing that ever happened to them. More than the label “foster kid.” More than what we don’t see.

A child’s story doesn’t need to be public for us to care. Every child in foster care has a story. It may not be ours to tell, but it is always ours to honor.

Let’s be a community that protects privacy and refuses to look away. Even in silence, these stories matter. And so do the children living them.